My Ode to Srivalli..

 

‘Beauty is a sense of harmony. Whether it's an image, a human face, a body, or a sunset, take the object which you call beautiful, as a unit (and ask yourself): what parts is it made up of, what are its constituent elements, and are they all harmonious? If they are, the result is beautiful.’ – Ayn Rand. 

The reason I quoted Ms. Rand, is because it closely sums up my feelings & facts derived from the relatable experiences I had, meeting, seeing & understanding the women in my life, so far. Especially, Srivalli!

It was one of the usual terrible evenings at my workplace, terrible because I am a terrible employee and I find everything terrible over there from the work, I do, to the people around, which also makes me a dishonest employee. But this is me being Honest, at my best, about Srivalli. I was idle but waiting for my Beautiful trainer’s instruction to start the next task. Having nothing much to do, I was just simply looking around at the boring cliched herd- gazing into their computer screens. Everything seemed so bloody dull and flat, it summed up to the state of boredom at it’s peak. It was then, she shone out of nowhere, like an angel, indeed, she appeared like one out of this filthy mass. She wore a pretty light colored crop top and baggy jeans, which made her ensemble look even more intense, the more she was getting closer towards my bay. As she passed by and disappeared, it was then, I said to myself, ‘Out of your league!’  - अर्थात्: tumhaare samooh/aukaad se baahar hai beta!.
 I said that to myself, not because I had not seen anyone like her, till then but none of them were even close to her gorgeousity in such a simple way, which is extremely RARE. Her sheer presence, intense looks and incredible subtleness in the way she moved & looked around, of course not at me, WERE, ARE & WILL BE, RARE, forever.

The glorious revelation happened after couple of weeks, when I was moved to the production floor, where she was already working. It was just another boring day, which was about to be stupendously exciting from that moment. I, as usual was looking around, moving my head back & forth, at the new set of herd rapidly moving & crossing by, at the bat of an eyelid I realized two spectacular bonny eyes staring at me. By the moment I could feel it, the spectacle vanished in a jiff. Without wasting a nanosecond getting disappointed, the cinephile in me started slow motioning that moment and running it backward and forward for my visual pleasure. Though I'm still not sure if she saw me, but I enjoyed it believing she did. I enjoyed the whole ‘was-to-be-boring’ shift like a kid at fantasy land. Since, that day I’m in awe of her presence. That very moment, her eyes & the look got imprinted in my mind like an exquisite painting and with her image completely filling both my mind and my heart, and it was that night while returning home in the cab, windows down, somewhat breeze hitting my face & the song aired on radio, ‘Srivalli’.

In the course of working at the same office, and having the terrific privilege of making eye contact, many a times in a day, I just couldn’t take my eyes off her. Her charm, her beauty, her personality and her demeanor has been a new discovery for me to adore for life. However, with my habit of keenly observing intense beings like herself, I figured out that she has an invisible wall around her and she does not let anyone cross that. Behind that wall she maintains her dignity and her self-respect and she never lets anyone inside. 

One day my only friend at work, suddenly started giving me an affiliative smile, which was quite strange, moments later I understood. Since, that day I come to know about her arrival or if she is about to pass by beyond my sight, when smiles that way. At times, his utmost respect for her and for my admiration towards her, incite me to a certain point that it makes feel to just run towards her and say ‘Hi!’. I’m not very sure if I’m unable to gather courage to do that or Am I indeed, enjoying the fantasy by gazing into her beauty from afar, because from a long shot, I view her like, in frame of a an exotic scene where nobody else does matter and infact the others look ugly as compared to her presence in that frame.

I wrote this as an ode to Srivalli, with the only purpose so as to impress her and nothing else.

She is one of the most beautiful girls, but immensely adorable & cutest girl, God ever created and I think he creates such exquisite pieces of art like her, not too often.

If you ever happened to read this..

Srivalli, thanks for being born and I love your eyes & hairstyle!

Became a CULT, before it's release!

Movie that became a CULT for me, before its release!

Yes, you read it right. Though CULT, as a term is way too substantial, for a movie which I haven’t even watched yet, I confess that just the trailer of this movie has seeped into me terribly, so much that it is already a Cult movie for me.

One might find this over exaggerating, but trust me, as a Cinephile what intrigues me while watching a movie is the Hyper realistic treatment given by the maker in every way to his/her film. To make it simpler, if I’m watching a movie in the Dark-Room, and don’t feel like to smoke a cigarette in the interval- that means it had engaged me enough. After exiting the Dark-Room if I feel sad, that the movie ended – by now I have loved it. But if it made me long to watch it repeatedly for days & months, then not only I’m in love but so obsessed that I start believing its story & characters are the part of this real world. Movies and everything in it, has such an impact on me - It gives me a terrific high!

It wasn’t the title of this film but the director, I was instantly excited about when I read it’s his film. Vasan Bala – now y’all & also him (if he happens to read, luckily) might say this “ki lappet raha hai..” that I consider myself as his Fan. I first came to know about him when his name appeared on celluloid during the opening credit scene of Raman Raghav 2.0, along with Anurag Kashyap as Writer. Now I never used to pay attention to these details every time I go to watch movies but there’s a short story to it. I watched 2.0 on my friend’s cellphone who downloaded it on the next day of it’s release- I swear on Each and Every GOD that I never did that before, I sincerely hate doing that but I didn’t have an option back then, coz’ the place where I live they hardly screen any off-beat movies and if they, then one has to buy all the 11 tickets to please the norms of the Movie-Hall for ‘em to play it in the DarkRoom for you, coz for sure nobody else will watch it.. I remember the glorious time when Black Friday released & I watched it with the canteen guy, toilet cleaner & the Box-office guy.  Kindly excuse me- it went hay-way.. so that evening we both were watching 2.0 and literally finished a bottle and a half of Whisky and 3 packs of cigarettes. I’m not kiddin’, we were trying to understand by rewinding each and every scene in every 13-14mins, trying to listen properly then analyze the chapters, connect the characters, well to put it in a simple way, we were fuckin’ blowned out! The most intriguing element in 2.0, for me was the Language used by Ramana, throughout the film and it was pretty much evident that to execute certain things through an actor, location, prop, music, one must have had witnessed or lived that moment in order to make it so believable. Now I don’t know if he has written the dialogues too but he has co-written the story and it has his influence in it’s own way. In 2.0 there is a scene when Ramana visits his old friend (Madrasi) and asks if he can get him a rod, while having this conversation the friend- Madrasi mentions about a film called Angadittharum, he had taken the kids to watch few days ago and mentions the director’s name which to me sounded like ‘Vasanth Bala’ and then instantly after finishing the movie I searched for ‘Angadittharum Vasanth Bala’ on Google and it was about reply with cuss words that something drew my attention- VASAN BALA- known for Peddlers…. Following that I searched him on Youtube, Twitter, Facebook. I downloaded his interviews and watched & listened ‘em thoroughly- I strongly feel there’s something very analogous, about him, to the that of someone I know in my neighborhood, or someone I grew up with who talks & has the same kinda sense of humor. For instance, in an interview on Youtube: Shooting with Kashyap | Making of RR 2.0 - Episode 1 when Tanvi Gandhi says she was Blown away by the story and instantly Vasan tease her looking at the camera in such a subtle way without interrupting her from saying further, the action which locally known as ‘Phenkna’ or ‘Lappettna’. The first thing I searched was his Short Film, which I do for every director I discover that exists, and found ‘Geek out’ – which is still I say this to most of the sensible people I know, that if we take an excerpt from the life of Travis Bickle it would be this one, but I confess that I didn’t & hadn’t understood the climax yet but struggling. Geek Out has so much in it, that it clearly depicts that to what extend this Man must have in is head to show the world, it was ahead of it's time, but this time.. Jagah bhi sahi hai, aur Waqt bhi!

I love credits in the movies, they somehow becomes very important for me and I developed this love for it I guess, since I was 6 or 7 & watched the SUPER STAR RAJNI title cards with the terrific BGM in the theatres. Similarly I love the titles created on the Posters, though we don’t get to see much of ‘em on walls but on screens, I still love it. In a constant process of reading about him & following him on Twitter, I came across the news few days before MAMI 18’ through a friend that the opening film will be MKDNH.. Mard ko dard nahi hota!.. I was sold to the title and, I was super excited. I read about the movie in bits & hardly could know anything about it. As it doesn’t have a big star cast, known director and I think the only thing known associated with this movie was RSVP, baad me goggle karlena! And also could be, Gulshan Devaiah from Youtube while searching for Riccha Chadda hot scenes (Cabaret) or probably for Hunterr.

But the only thing that whose film it was, made me terribly excited.

The time came for registrations for the Festival, I lost my job, couldn’t take a vacation and missed the opportunity. I missed it badly coz I knew it will take months for it have a proper release and lil’ did I know then, that I’d be constantly keeping a track on anything about the movie on social media. Tagged the man himself, Gulshan Devaiah, Abhimanyu.. checked for #MKDNH and this I have done so far only for Rajinikanth’s & SRK’s Movies and never thought would be so impatient & crazily excited to watch someone else’s film, whose only work I have seen was a short film, random interviews, splendid acting skills in Taxi Driver and the Don & as Aakhri Dus sir wala Raavan. Mere liye itna kaafi bhi hai aur zaroori bhi, to become a fan of this Man.

TIFF ka trailer: I can bet my one month’s hard earned salary if you prove me wrong, that has anyone ever in India has seen or made this kind of TRAILER? It’s fuckin’ so so so so BRILLIANT! This showed his creative genius and proved me right with myself. I was taken aback when the video started on youtube- the Geraftaar VHS, The Hero saying dialogues looking the camera, the Bulb, the metal Ladder, the slow movement of the blood from forehead, the sipping from Water bag pack, the Punch and the Mayhem! It is so creative and detailed that I fell in love with everything I saw in that trailer, I watched it so many times that if Youtube had an option to increase the views of a video based on the number of times watched by an individual, TIFF ka trailer would have been still Trending.

Oh the slow motion shot of Radhika Madan sliding over the top of the car’s trunk, holding someone’s neck with her scarf, gave me goosebumps. Thurman in KillBill abhi feeki lagti hai, Supri, for me already outdid TheBride. Abhimanyu’s one specific shot of Kicking in the air is stupendously killa, and his sheer innocence can be clearly seen in everything he does.

They saved Gulshan’s magic for the later which is evident in the Official Trailer released a week ago and has more than 6m views already, which I’m truly very happy about as now more people know about the film & more people will watch and Vasan Bala can earn more money for the producer so they allow him to make another masterpiece and it goes on like this.

Official Trailer: It starts with terrific witticism, a fabulous satire on everything conventional about movies in few words and it also follows with the similar BGM of every trailer we have been watching in the recent times, but not for very long and the rest y’all know. And for the ones who doesn’t even know what you are reading about you probably must be living under a rock or khoparkhairane, coz only those places the internet doesn’t work. Haha copy kiya yeh line! Fuckin’ I think I can write a book about the Trailer itself, I’m so engrossed in it and excited for tomorrow (The day of it’s release). Again I loved each and every thing in this trailer and since it has more to offer, it became a routine since a week. I watched and made few others watch it everyday for 15-20 times, while going to office and returning, while drinking beer then toh I watch it for 50times coz fuckin’ visually it’s so terrific that the BGM & the songs make it even more terrific 100000times. His #MatungaConnection in the dialogue “eh Matunga ke Ferozkhan” (gaar or khan m not sure), Surya drinking water from a Jug, Karate Mani’s disguised look at Surya in the lift exactly after posing to fly up to the top floor taking him along, as I mentioned I could write a book now. But truly I’m very much excited to watch KarateMani & Jimmy, amongst all coz I truly find Gulshan Devaiah, an effortlessly brilliant actor. There’s a certain way he says a dialogue, or speak in an interview, I saw his TedTalk also, that showcases his jest for the subject and manners of quip is something very unusual & way beyond unconventional for us Indian audiences. When I see that scene in the trailer where he says “Eh Eh itna chillane ka kya zaroorat hai, residential area hai, chup chup karo!” it makes me feel that he was the only one chosen to do this or rather born to do this and no one ever could have done the way he did. Now if you think yeh abhi zyada hogaya, just understand or atleast try to that now as most of us cannot imagine anyone else as GabbarSingh, Mogambo, VijayDeenanath Chauhan than whom we have watched portrayed and enjoyed or for that matter as many say & believe that no one could have ever done the AC scene better than Amir Khan in Rangeela, exactly with that scene & his appearance throughout the trailer it got registered in my mind that Gulshan Devaiah was born to play ‘THE JIMMY’ and will remain like that forever. For Karate Mani I will wait for tomorrow as I want to be surprised.

The soundtrack.. all the songs are on loop so it says all.

Every frame, every dialogue, every bit of music.. everything I saw in the trailer, is OUTSTANDING. Everything I read in the blogs, heard in interviews, saw in footages of MidNight Madness and everything associated with this film, so far, has created enough curiosity & excitement to watch the film but more than that every thing so far about this movie has manifested the facts of true hard work, belief & patience each one of ‘em had to make this dream of one man come true and this had made this film already a CULT, for me, before it’s release.

Thank you everyone involved to make this happen coz this is a Gift for beings like me, which shall be enhanced & treasured forever, till Cinema lasts and beyond that!

L O N G L I V E C I N E M A..

H A I L, V A  S A N  B A L A!

  

The Ingenuous Queen

As I was peeing in the restroom of my workplace, during a usual boring shift, I heard a voice from behind, “Haven’t you been writing lately?”. To my surprise it was the Project Manager of the team I was working for, in his Lyric Sopranoish voice, with an elating smile, moving towards the next vacant slot to mine, to fulfill the purpose he was there for. For a moment it distracted my process but instantly I was amazed to understand that he was actually referring to the link of my Blog I have shared with him that morning – and WTF! The project manager had literally read it. I asked “How did you like it?”, again to my surprise he quoted a line from one of my Blogs, to which I was taken aback and thanked him (Of course we didn’t shake hands). Then after analyzing the fact that he loved my writing I acknowledged his question by telling him that, “I can only write, when I come across something terrifically striking”.

Now the purpose of sharing that instance with you is to let you know how good I am as a writer. Just kiddin’! Actually NOT. But after the shift ended, I felt it was a beautiful evening of December -for no reason- in 2016 and realized about what I told him in the noon about my writing, while having my beer..  ‘Terrifically striking’. Indeed, I was being pompous then, eventually realizing that it’s the Truth. Now in order to contribute towards the marvelous dynasty of my gratitude for the divinity called ‘Beautiful Female’, I wish she consider this as my ode to Her – for being the Ingenuous Queen of my journey.

Queen! That is what I have been calling her within my surreptitious conglomerate. The inception of that affectionate term happened when she appeared at workplace, in a strong black colored hooded sweatshirt, written on it in a shimmering golden colored letters, QUEEN! That’s it, I said to myself, ‘she is the most incredibly beautiful girl I have ever seen in that building’. I always used to watch her at cafeteria, downstairs at the lobby, in the workroom by placing someone exactly in a position so I can have a seamless view through their shoulder and trust me it’s an enticing experience. Her Balayage short hair style was the first thing which caught my attention, it’s a superfluous enhancement to her extremely pretty looking face. When she smiles, it’s as eternally cute as of a lil’ baby’s smile, which makes her appearance very obsequious and this trait does generate a feeling of resentfulness among the other females, though she shouldn’t care - like she does! At times I feel I can listen to her speaking, for a whole day, such an appeasing voice she has. At regular intervals I wait for her to say few words, coz’ the way she pronounces them is way too cutesier, often I imitate that but to an extent that can be excused. It never made any difference to me if she is surrounded by anyone, coz’ for me they doesn’t exist when I’m watching her. I could never describe her eyes, since I never dared to look at them straightly. Now that makes her distinguishingly special for me. Since I learned there is a fundamental difference between beauty and sexuality. Beauty pleases your senses whereas sexuality controls your senses or even more correctly your senses go berserk. Now she created this strongly fundamental difference between her and the other females at the workplace for me. Where the ‘self-proclaimed’ beautiful girls embellish themselves to come to office everyday so as to cause a force in fellow dumb male colleagues to approach them, The Queen simply appears. Coz’ her exquisite simplicity defines her beyond beauty and sexuality.

I can write a book about her, but for now, by God’s grace if she happens to spare her valuable time and most valued interest to read this, I’ll shout out loud, It is Accomplished!

Recently I came to know by her colleague that she had an accident and shown me her picture in a terrible state, which I couldn’t bear, in fact it trigged a solid effect in me so much that I wished that the one who hit her by his car should die a gruesome death or I shall get a chance to stab him to death for hundreds of times. But the magical aspect of the picture was she yet had that terrific quintessential smile, which could put a stone to melt. I hardly ask God for anything, but I pray to him that he put you on a pause button and make you live young and beautiful forever with that smile and hair.

Wish you a Speedy Recovery. Be Well!

Rendezvous with Lust

‘Abbey Chutiye!..

..it does happens that way, a man and a woman sleeps together in the night on the same bed and a child is born!.. Simple!’

That was the most deeply stupid and immature line, about anything connected to SEX, I heard out of an utmost idiotic ‘Suhaag Raat-Scene-Impact’ discussion, from a dumb 90s Hindi movie, back in school. I guess I was in sixth grade. But one can’t blame those stupid classmates of mine, for that thought process, bad English, and above all Stupidity - that’s the result of going to a bad School!

But since, I mentioned about the Hindi movies of 90s, YES.. I was terribly stimulated by the songs and the Heroines in those movies. Like, Madhuri  in ‘Dhak Dhak’, Sridevi in ‘Kaate nahi kat te’, Rekha in ‘Karo pyar mujhe’, Mamta Kulkarni and Urmila in ‘almost’ every song.. And above all, was swept away by the iconic scene where Jack makes a sketch of Roja and scene after that, before everything shatters, hitting the ice-berg. 

I clearly remember how almost every boy, back then requested for the video song ‘Turn the page’ by Metallica on the ‘Dial a song’ channel by the local cable operator (for unknown reason the name of the song appeared on the list as ‘Sixteen Years’). That was for the obvious reasons – Ginger Lynn and the Scenes! Though most of ‘em still wouldn’t know or ever cared to know her name.

 FYI: Ginger Lynn is the premier adult-entertainment star of the 80s – one of the greatest porn stars of all time... 

And Metallica is an American heavy metal band – this information is specifically for the boys from my school (this is the only time I’m using My School just to cut the crap).

Despite this mental masturbation, constantly there was an intense force, driving the urge of fulfilling an emotion. Eventually identifying that emotion and its nuances. Though it wasn’t so quick, it took years to analyze and respond to it in the right possible way – but that’s the dichotomy of its beauty, I love. Let me take you to the insights of it.

I confess and I swear, that I never developed lust towards any of the girls from the school I went, in those 10years. Not that they weren’t attractive or beautiful but primarily most of them were UGLY (I blame it on the color of the uniform) and the rest belonged to the NERD community i.e.: Toppers/Rankers.  The truth is I was always smitten by elder women. I couldn’t help that then or now or forever, and I love that. There were girls, senior to me in school but my sub conscious mind and instincts longed for someone more elder than them. After all these elements clashed resulting into an inscrutable battle, it led my fascination develop towards my Class Teacher!

Oopps... no this one... 

Someone like her... 

It absolutely comes from my utmost assertiveness, which was the beginning of the wait for an exquisite rendezvous with Lust! Now if you are turning into being assumptive about me or anything written, stop reading & kindly FUCK OFF!

I was in 2^nd grade, sitting in this classroom along with Neelam on this bench. The vacation was over and the new semester just started few days ago. The classroom was awfully painted. The brightness of the tube lights all over the ceiling, was way too bright for my eyes, in contrast to the dark atmosphere outside due to the heavy clouds. It was drizzling, and I was expecting, indeed, wishing for a flood. And then the bell rang for the next period.. Here she enters! Initially I didn’t look at her, since, I was trying to hit on ‘not-so-ugly’ Neelam NOTE: I wasn’t & never been & will be a Tharkee (Lascivious, Pervert or Lewd), but being a born admirer of beauty with such a kind heart and enormous talents, unlike many in the classroom – I was Smart!

  Eventually she announced that she will be our English Teacher throughout the year 

– that means I will get to witness this mayhem at the start of the day at school, before the ugliest faces I have to struggle with throughout those 5hrs. She was a Bengali, I could relate that with the big round Bindi on her forehead, perfectly placed in the middle, slightly above those terrific eye brows resembling a beautiful sunrise from the waves of an ocean – just like in the scenic paintings. Those submissive eyes laced with kohl, a pure malice. The golden brown shade of her pale skin, like it was exposed to the sun in that monsoon was an extension to the chaos. That snub nose with a black colored nose pin was simply an embellishment. I strongly believe GOD must have invested his most aesthetic skills to create that slightest cleft lip, which created an enormously devouring effect when she spoke, now just imagine what it could had been when she smiled.. Splendido.., It was evident that she knew the key to dress her body, to enhance and add  volume to her upper body while emphasizing the waist, also adding to the ongoing trip by the visible navel and de-emphasizing her lower body  in that azure color saree, creating a balanced, hourglass appearance. An elegant neck, structured shoulders, proportionately slim arms, nicely defined waist, gradually sloping out to the hips... An eternally perfect Pear shaped female body, I witnessed... Aah I need a drink now!

What I felt constantly after that... The kind of urge that was developed... About ‘Not so ugly’ Neelam.. And everything related and relevant to the inscrutable struggle of my wait for the eternal, rendezvous with lust, since that day... will share about it some other day.. 

Ooh.. my Class teacher...

She was not from this planet, for me. 

                                                                     

The Crush (My most sincere and only love letter so far)

    

   I was absolutely familiar with the nuances of the impulsion developed, when I saw you. It was Magical. It was like the abrupt cut, with 360degree swish pan back to the first day of my school, someday in the start of the monsoon in 95’. Sitting at a bench in the corner of the room with those weirdly ‘painted in white’ and terribly stinking walls. Staring outside, as it was raining heavily, desperately waiting for the final bell to ring, so can get out and play. And this mild chaos with my inner consciousness and the external boredom in that classroom, clashed with an exquisite view, over the shoulder of this most ugly looking boy sitting few seats beyond me. As it happens in the movies, in slow motion. My consciousness with my eyes along with the on-going chaos, met with the most beautiful sight of my life, little did I know, which was just a beginning of the greatest chaos of my life eventually.. Women, and the Beauty.
Her name was Diana. Which got associated with me in complaints, teasing, sometimes in fights, throughout the duration in school. And after that, never did I happen to meet anyone as striking as her neither felt the urge to fall for someone exactly the way it happened then. Till I encountered you on the fourth day of our training. I fell for you just as a kid does looking at a candy floss. It was so glorious moment for me then, you wore a green colored kurta paired with dark colored bottoms, hair tied neatly with a pony, and just a pile of hair blocking your eye in the right making you look more terrific, but I hardly saw you smiling.. and that extremely drove me crazy by multiplying my curiosity. It was as glorious as it seemed when Jack encounters Rose from downstairs, that scene has a tremendous effect on me ever since (kindly excuse my reference of films, though it’s the only way I could be the Best).

Despite, anybody had said and saying anything about this I wish to convey it to you, that so far it had been only you, for whom I felt to offer my truest admiration and eternal gratitude, for being what you are, so Heavenly Beautiful!
 It’s a wonderful feeling, that so far I couldn’t develop the courage to come and talk to you, or even smile at you for that matter. And makes you terribly special amongst every female in that building. I read this long back and it has been my favorite line, ‘if you respect something, don’t go too close to it!’ and since, I understood the meaning of it, I’ve been living happily throughout. Staring at you without your knowledge is a Bliss and will be forever. I might not be able to tell you this ever, but my respect for your beauty and your being holds the purest form of respect and nothing weird, as some screwhead tries to imagine.

Most importantly I always wanted to say, especially in that game ‘hot seat’ we played in that training, that why you are so beautifully – importantly admirable is - for me, and I am soopersure for thousands like me out there, because you are the kind of a female, who will be as stupendous as ever even when you will turn 80!

I tried to be as simple as I can be with my words, (of which I’m not happy about) just because I wanted to be very sincere and clear about my feelings for you which are very ‘paq saaf ‘ – in urdu it means Divinely true and clean. And I wish you stay young, beautiful and stunning as ever, forever. And I also thank GOD for creating you and being less selfish by sending you on this planet where we poor souls exist. Grazie Signora!a

My God, since, i have finally written this to you and for you.. i'am feeling like the king of the World!

Your Poor victim!
 

Qatl-E-Aam

“the eyes, chico, they never lie!.”

I’ve been trying vigorously.. so far, since, I watched Tony Montana saying this to Chico-Manny Ribera after immensely smitten by Elvira Hancock in Scarface, to understand and analyze what does it actually mean? Does he refers to the intensity in ‘em– or just the eyes of Elvira-or just make it up-or.. I didn’t know and couldn’t figure out too.            

But the experience so far trying to understand that line has been voraciously exciting.  Never missed a chance to try my best, whenever talking to an intense person-especially a female or females for that matter. Initially I thought maybe that’s why they say ‘it’s very difficult to understand a woman’ but eventually it hit me, in that case it’s also ‘impossible to understand any person on this planet’. By that I mean, that a person has a certain idea about the other person, and as theyhe/she gets the information about the other person their knowledge is limited & no one would ‘rightly’ care to spare time to keep understanding everyone they meet, talk, work with, live with or at times ‘sleep-with’. So considering that random-illogical-established-belief was an insult to my ever-evolving thought process and substantial knowledge of my love for females and it’s reasons. Well, I will get into details about that, some other time, since, I don’t want to dissipate this energy of mine and most importantly this vehemence, to EXPRESS, after quite a while..  

Now i don’t remember the day, but just like an another day I was sitting here at my workplace, ‘working’-involuntarily, not talking to anyone around, lost!-for certain & obvious reasons.. I see this terrifically stunning girl walking towards the restroom which is located exactly on the floor where everybody works. I wanted to kill the engineer who designed it, the authorized body who wanted it that way and every male who relentlessly stuck their eyeballs towards that restroom. Because from that very moment I felt the immense urge to kill all of them to make this place a filth, where this terrifically beautiful female has to pass by. I developed this yearning with utter consciousness and intensity as I do for everything I wish and want to do..Since, my childhood. But if you think or have developed an impression about me being, maniacally a loon (which I care a damn about and don’t give a fuck), my reason will serve the purpose.

Coming back to the scene I was describing about this girl I encountered that day, yeahh.. SHE WAS STUNNING and the very sight of her was extremely terrific. Now certainly when it’s talked about women and it’s about praising them, ‘TO THE CORE!’ (this is somethin’ I got from my #TheTamilConnection), instantly it highlights the attention towards the physical aspect, and m not gonna deny that but refuse to accept it as the main agent of inspiration to write this. Indeed, the reason itself is pretty insanely killer and hazardous.. ‘em Eyes!

 

Yes her ‘eyes’ .. I resist to use the lines such as, ‘they are deep’ ‘most beautiful eyes ever seen’ and s#$%..nope! Not that shit! I was highly smitten by the way she uses her eyes, more than how they are ardently delineated. Every time I encounter them, it strikes me as an artwork. Her eyes just outvies her whole body and I seriously believe she commands over her body language through her eyes as they does to our heart beats as she enters this place. And this has a tremendous effect on the keen observers who long, just for a sight of her, once in a day. And the rest belongs to the ‘herd’. 

The intend of her, might not be cruelly murderous to do what turns out to be an ecstatic effect on poor beings like me, but my intend has always been to get afflicted, consciously for the extreme high I get. When one finds something out of his/her reach, it makes ‘em crazy but when one realizes & accepts this fact;It enlightens ‘em! I don’t know why the fuck did I use that line? But I hope it added some philosophic element to what I want to convey. Anyways, If I could. I would write a book about her..Which I think m gonna do eventually.. but m trying my best, in every possible way to make it short & precise, just not to bore her and spare her precious time reading this (hopefully), unlike unimportant-ugly beings like u n me who has all the time of this universe to make the utmost less out of it and do nothing.

Besides, the blessed encounters of her hands, hair..aah ‘em mountain of curls are bliss to stare, nose, and at times that exquisite angle ..like in the noir movies (not for u unintellectual – so called ’movie-buffs’) my vision pierce sharply into the zoom-in mode when I look back to have a glimpse of her.. gorgeousness and gorgeousity..it creates a Mayhem.. the smile which is ultra-rare and should be since, it’s not coming from an ordinary-manufactured face but from an aesthetically incepted creation of the supreme power, they call him GOD.. and her voice, which I haven’t heard so far and that’s tranquilizing.. at times I wonder it’d be easy to get a woman deliver the baby than to c or make her laugh, but I have the strongest belief that I would witness that before this life gives up on me as all the females out here did on themselves (I’m soopersure-also, who lives around her) since the day, she arrived.. The most important & intriguing thing about her is – The Invisible Wall!

That’s what every girl tries at her best to create and fall along with it, breaking their nose and others’ too. Because it’s essential for every beautiful being like her, to create that wall to protect themselves from the herd and every living being who are unequal-unmatchable to their beauty, brains and intensity.

 

As intensely she kills us with ‘em ultra-killa Eyes & attitude, we gladly wish to die every day and voraciously crave to stab the person, to death who schedules her day-off when we have to work without seeing her and after that turn out an inept after the shift ends, desperately wishes to murder everyone on the street out of disappointment and since, so much violence is involved in praising and sharing the most terrific experience with an exquisitely vehement female.. 

I named it..‘Qatl-E-Am!’

  In addition, I just want you to know..u r one of the most intriguingly intense and vehemently gorgeous females I have ever seen.. and trust me it’s rare, so stay raw and keep killin’.. Killa Gal!

An episode of a Stupendous Smile!

“My intuition turned into a strong discernment, as I entered this room and saw you for the first time. That most of the boys here are smitten & spellbound by your very appearance!”

These were the words my voice bled, when I first happened to talk to her (while I was introducing myself to the class).

Well it was the first day of training in this new organization in the New Year. Wasn’t really excited, since, it was a morning shift and the fellow trainees seemed just like another ‘regular herd’. I saw this female in the training room, in a deep sermon with the IT guy. I thought she must be from the HR team, but she seemed very pissed off figuring out what the IT guy was actually doing, it was 10:00am and the trainees were still entering the class (as the training was scheduled for 09:00am) and for other certain & uncertain reasons which I was morosely contemplating, staring at her. Finally to my surprise & utter joy she acknowledged everybody in the class.. ‘she will be the Voice & Accent trainer for the next 10days’. I still remember that rapturous excitement, I felt.

She wore a Black Kurta and paired it with similarly textured pants. The kohl was perfectly applied from the inner corner of her eyelids to the outside. Her hair tied up neatly. Everything made her look very elegant; especially her foxy voice which amplified her presence in the room, before adding the final touch: Her Stupendous Smile!