Wednesday, December 3, 2014

Happy? BIRHTDAY!


The only reason I quoted this from my very favorite, Nietzsche’s thought process about individualism is that it always reminds and make me realize that I haven’t developed any individuality of my own self and refused to pay the price for it.. Being a ‘Wimp’ and a USELESS BUM. And I started hating to celebrate my own birthday after this self-surveillance, in spite of achieving whatever I have, which i haven't yet anything. So why shud i be so gung-ho about wanting to celebrate my birth?
As a mere fact i don’t think my born calls for a celebration, In effect when i have absolutely no control or no contribution in the process of what, who and why my parents gave me birth, why should i make such a big deal about celebrating it? As they have contributed rather i would say devoted their lives for my upbringing since my birth, i have no right to celebrate anything about myself if i have at least not being worth of their values and hard work!
Bala is one of the greatest & special person sent for me with my Parents, GODBROTHER, MAMAJI, Annie, Reggie & Shammy. Who has been & are the key of my exploration to various aspects of life, and exploring my own certain talents & also heartening them. but i didn’t even try to push myself a lil, instead i caused much more aggravated damages on their terms. so most of the things I’ve done were all on other's account and i only have creditability for being a worthless & non-achiever. Which hurted them and i want to put a full stop to it, and at least unlade them forever.     
I cheated on this girl who did everything possible and beyond that, just to make me feel good every-single-day in all these years since we met. She worthlessly put all her creativity, efforts, time and most importantly LOVE to make this day (few years ago) so special that it actually is the Biggest Surprise of my Life rather i would say that 'Monumental!'
 The only female after my mother, to whom I’ve devoted myself!
If i gather the pieces of my GODBROTHER's youth, all of 'em are dedicated to felicitate me. when i asked him, 'how come u don’t get mad at me, even after i do so many wrong things?', he replied 'i wouldn’t even regret if i have to Burn in Hell for you, coz' you r my brother and i love you' I’ve never seen and i doubt would ever see a BROTHER with such modesty and a personality which is so Ironical. and i will be surely burn in hell and punished badly for at least not being 1/4 worth of what he did for me! 
And my AMMA she has faced the 'HORRORS' of this world right from the day before i was born till date, if i start writing about it you need to spare a lifetime. i owe my life and everything to her. 
These above facts kind of sums up my feelings about birthdays. I consider a greeting for my birthday as a truly ugly reminder that I am getting that much older and that much more nearer to death and consequently I have that much less time to do whatever I want to do. i will celebrate everything about myself and make y'all my lovers and haters to join me when I’ll be a prime mover, Hard Worker, when i can achieve the pure art with my gifted talents and skills, when i will never be mitigated by others, when i will oppose the councils or committees of individuals which lead to compromise and mediocrity and "watering down" the very completed vision.
When i will learn to and will rail against convention.

Till then please don’t waste your time and efforts to type, think, copy-paste, forward me messages to greet, (Especially who got a reminder from FACEBOOK and Other Social networking Sources – Can F*&K OFF!) thinking it will make me feel good or like a star, it's just going to worsen my day! 

Sunday, November 2, 2014

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, Annie!

 Since after a self-surveillance I happened to develop this belief towards the concept of Birthdays, that the obsession for birthdays most primarily comes from an intense fear of an individual that his or her existence might not matter to anybody else. So at least on that one particular day if an X number of people greet, it will make you feel like a star at least for that day and then you can wait like a nobody for another year to go by to become a star for yet another one day. For most of you It would be a crap, but it Is a fact to a great extend. If at all anyone needs to celebrate, they and their near ones should celebrate their achievements and not that they are born. One is just happened to be born the way millions of people, animals and insects get born every day.  I hardly wish anyone on any occasions  coz’ I just hate the idea of doing it for the sake of it and it annoys me if anyone wishes me too.

But as I believe in celebrating one’s achievement to the fullest, this part of my writing is purely dedicated to this female, who’s not only beautiful but a magnificent creation of GOD’s artistic aesthetic. I use such words not because of any certain reasons but for the real outburst of Respect, Admiration & Jealousy.

So long I’ve got the most of the best, important and necessary things or leanings, firstly from my Mother, GOD-Brother and my Dearest & most feared ‘MAMAJi’ and eventually from everywhere & everyone I met. But I absorbed and implied those learnings after a very long time, sometimes it was too late and sometimes it was balanced. But I think and believe that every GOOD thing come out of me is only because of others and ‘iam’ solely responsible for all the BAD. And this female had a Far-Reaching impact on me all along.

She’s one of those females on this planet, whom I call ‘The Quintessential Beauty’ , by not only considering her physical appearance but, by her Attitude. But yes, when I say BEAUTY, it just takes me back in the memory of how I went crazy about her for the first time. I had this DVD back then, which had almost all the videos of MICHAEL JACKSON and it was ‘THE WAY YOU MAKE ME FEEL’ I used to watch it regularly because of.. Obviously THE KING OF POP and his moves but I was in love with the model Tatiana Thumbtzen who is in the video. 

God.. I was into a deep mesmerization back then. It was her Figure and Hair.. Oh! It’s Terrific!  Now I met this girl quite a few times before the day I thoroughly observed her, it just happened.. It wasn’t intentional, and I don’t feel CHEAP about it. You great things just Happens!  Her physique, especially her Figure resembled a lot to of Tatiana’s to me. I think it was a sheer and absolute impulse, I was following at that time, with that video thing and this girl. It was Crazy man and I love it!

She had the longest and beautiful hair I’ve ever seen till then. God would’ve given her some brains while chopping it. I hardly remember she ever had been to a beauty parlor then. Yeah I remember once, years ago, we met at a Movie theatre and she was all dressed up nice and had some hair done and the eyebrows too. i never saw her like that before so it was strange for me, I found the whole thing so bizarre that I just bursted out laughing and kept taunting her ‘BADLY’ infornt of her & my friends, Little did I realize that the last laugh will be on me…!  

I have seen her struggling through her toughest times when everyone & everything around her has been isolated, including me, to a larger extend that one could have easily expected to be BROKE! Things went HayWay, For a lack of a better word ‘Screwed up’. But she faced it, with all the courage and patience. Which I actually think was unconventional at her age then. For me it had been & will always be an exclusive & valiant example of the quote from Pacinothere are two kinds of people in this world: those who stand up and face the music, and those who run for cover. Cover is better” and like the protagonist in the movie Charlie Simms she refused the advice and faced the music. So her so called ’Friends’ back then can ‘GO TO HELL!’ now.

Now having said all these things about her obviously I would feel or want to be with such a Respectable & beautiful female I’ve known ever. Yes I wanted to, but here’s the thing why I wrote earlier that she had a Far-Reaching impact on me all along. Few days ago I wished someone on a social networking site on her birthday, I wrote something which was quite considerably good. This female sent me a message next day that “People actually start believing d way u write Abt thm…..u should be a writer… Who can write all fiction..”     the reason I shared this is only because what I feel about her or if I want to be with her has only been subjective, but what she made me realize was the absolute truth, which broke my my illusion, that she is a kind of much supremist that I don’t even have the key authenticity to think so, to be with her. Im really thankful to her and will always owe this to her till my last breathe.

The only two reasons I will keep celebrating her birthday is for me she’s the epitome of beauty with honor and she shares her birthday with one of the Biggest star on the Planet, S R K !   
All these things are the real contribution and struggle towards one’s own immortality of their individualism, which lives forever. And for me they have re-defined the value & importance of birth!


HAPPY BIRTHDAY, Annie!


I won’t say GOD BLESS YOU, coz’ you are the Blessed & the CHOSEN one sent on this planet, BE WELL!

Sunday, October 26, 2014

The Classical ROCKSTAR!

                     

First of all I want to confess that I’m jealous of Nelson after watching his performance being aired on the National Television. Yes being equally or less talented than him, I felt being green eyed since he messaged me about his appearance on the National T.V.
 But this comes from my heart not because we knew each other since childhood or were fellas back in school or for any such certain reasons; I truly felt it was BRILLIANT! The way he carried & performed throughout the act didn’t really made me or my mother feel that he’s some one I know or its his DEBUT performance (if m not wrong). He was very confident, engrossed and he did 
LET IT FLY!’
I heard what he sang Exclusively, almost an year ago when I happened to meet him and his band in regards to a proposal to perform at my own event, (which was a BiGGEST FLOP) so was my idea of our association. I was mesmerized since then of the fact that how he has transformed & nurtured his talent so far. Most of us have seen him as a shy guy and heard him singing the classical stuff back in school, and hardly we all met after that. I remember I often teased him for that classical thing. I cussed myself ever for doing that. After a long time I happened to meet him near station while having a Smoke and really didn’t recognize him then. He got this Long hair, Brett-Beard and wore some losers clothes on. For a moment I had this thing on my mind if he had developed such EGO too, but he proved me wrong. He was the same Low-Key guy I knew back then in school. We exchanged our contacts and left, but never called each other till last year. Though our planned collaboration didn’t go through for lot of reasons and I completely blame myself for that and want to Apologize to him and his fellow musicians.
I also want to thank him BiG TIME, coz’ if I weren’t to know about his performance to be aired on T.V. then I would have gone to watch ‘HAPPY NEW YEAR’ for the fourth time but wudn’t have known about AIMS (AVENUES OF INTERNATIONAL MEDIA), for whom he performed. Why? Because it deals with the World of Movies, an extreme obsession of mine.
Soon will plan an Event and would execute all the ideas we discussed amongst us. And would love to see him performing live. We all love you very much especially BALA (Magesh), PraveenSon, Rajesh, Sahmmy. We would be glad to see you perform in many more events and we know you will. More than everything I would like to say, Bro ‘You Really Make us Proud and Happy!’ with the art form you are associated with.   
Keep doing the hard work, nurture your talent & KEEP ROCKIN’ all over!
And always remember You Are SPECIAL, Be Well!
                                                                 


            *All those who missed his performance, I request you to share the link of the video.


Monday, June 9, 2014

S.I.L - The BhaB'ee


The Love & Respect towards Females & their beauty has always encouraged & fueled my impassioned idolism which reveres only to admire & worship women at their highest & best.
It was the sunny afternoon of April and I got up from sleep with this irksome tooth ache.  After having my lunch I went out to get a smoke. Everything about that day was routine and it was more annoying because I had a night shift that day, everybody was busy celebrating their ‘Weekend’ and the other primary reason was my GodBrother was enjoying his friend’s girlfriend’s birthday party, our adoptive sister (who’s a mutual friend of ours) at an another friend’s place, but I wasn’t invited. My curiosity bled out & there was no room for patience. I called up my brother to know where he is (an excuse or I can say with a hope to be called upon). GOD has his ways to strike us humans with different ‘Twists & Turns’. Finally GodBrother asked me to come over, and then.. I didn’t have the slightest idea of what’s gonna happen..
   The party was held at a friend’s place, nearby my house. And we call it ‘The Passion House’ (for lot of certain reasons). All the boozing ‘ celebrations are planned & held at this place. There were so many times I went there for various parties, but this time before entering the lift itself there was something I was sensing without a rational process. I was excited but felt little peculiar for a while. As I knocked the door a friend opened it, whom I didn’t expect. Voluntarily I hugged him and he escorted me to the room inside where everyone was present. That’s it…!
There was this exquisite face with those in those known unattractive countenances. She wore a Red colored top & a jean and her hair - The Mountain Of Curls, she appeared like an Angel to me. Out of that filthy mass, she was alone holding a glass in her beautiful hands, I ought to call them ‘Hands of Beauty’. The opened Beer bottles, the Half filled whiskey glasses & snacks spread on the floor, the whirls & the smell of the cigarettes and the creepy song being played on the computer didn’t mean nothing to me. I could just tell by the way I was relating to the atmosphere & that Pure Fascination that there was some connection whatsoever. I felt it the very moment I stepped forward to say ‘Hi’’, there was an impulse I was following. That gave me the right & courage to just say it to my God Brother who sat beside her, much closer, “Bhabhi hain kya?”... Upon hearing this he instantly raised his eye brows & bit his tongue , a known & immediate cue to me, which led me to form an impression.  It was the moment of desolation. I hated the reason, which I came to know eventually.
Her beauty was so strong that it took end number of times for me to see & stare at her. Each time I did so it grew more effectively & has tremendously impacted my brain, much stronger that it blinded me to the tremendous beauty in her simplicity.
When she left in the evening I just couldn’t believe that the Supernatural Being of beauty stayed in that stupid looking house. I say stupid because I believed that no man-made house deserved to house my BhaB’ee.
After that day, there was an extreme fondness to see & meet her. And it kept growing every other day.  It was then ‘The Passion House’s owner aka our friend, reminded all of us about his Birthday.  And Then?  She was invited (by default) & it was an another magnificent memoir of our lives.
This time it was more exciting, coz I was invited.. lolz! NO! because we knew in advance that she’s gonna come. Really I killed time & the days just went. An evening before the birthday, there was a deep anxiety whether she would come or not? What if her parents wouldn’t allow? What if the trains wouldn’t run? What if there’s a storm tomorrow? What if someone meet an accident and the party is cancelled? What if our friend has a tiff with our adoptive sister? And a lot of “Whats” & “Ifs” killed me throughout .
But the day arrived and so did she. My heart was thumping like mad, till I saw her. We knew each other this time so we laughed, danced & enjoyed double the last time. Every time she called me or cited me or when we clicked our pictures, there was a feeling of attachment to such extend that it felt like I know her since the inception of me in GOD’s mind.  I have an exalted sense of her importance. Like one has for a Mother, a Sister, or a Best Female Friend since childhood. The way she spoke, behaved & demanded for certain things.. is to be venerated! During the course of that day’s celebration with her I began to observe & realize that she has an invisible wall around her and she does not let anyone cross that. Behind that wall she maintains her dignity and her self-respect and she never lets anyone inside. For me she formed the epitome of SOFT SPOT which I believe is many times more complex and many times more effective than deliberate feelings. Her charm, her beauty, her personality and her demeanor was what I have always dreamt about being a perfect BhaB’ee, The Sita of my life and there she was!
Well, throughout that day she was in the frame of mind and I didn’t even care and nothing mattered to me who else was there and what else was happening. And this will keep on happening till my last breathe & even after that..
My never ending gratitude to our adoptive sister for working in the same company where my BhaB’ee works, then making friends with her, inviting her to the party and letting us discover this Pearl in the form of human, sent on this planet. Thank you Very Much, Sister.
I am much more thankful to GOD’s aesthetic senses for gifting us with such extraordinary beauty and incredible innocence in a living form.         
And I’ll be always grateful to her mother with enormous respect and awe because she actually gave birth to my BhaB’ee.

 

Monday, April 21, 2014

YoYo GAL!

That's what i call her. That's precisely because of our mutual admiration towards the vogue in the nation "YO YO HONEY SINGH!" and once i entered the bay of our office and happened to call her by this name & it stuck, since, then. She loved it!
HHuhh! As I am working this night couldn’t easily recognize when was the last time i finished my work on time, it's my fourth month in this new organization and unfortunately it never happened. But today i was all geared up to spare some time & get back to write, all these days i missed doin' it. That's probably coz of limited access to internet or Boozin'.. haha! But the main reason was that my mind & heart couldn't find a resort, so i could jump into the pool of thoughts & bleed words. And suddenly few days ago it just hit me, this thought... 'What the hell on this earth is wrong with me?' 'This whole concentration & thought process has got no worth if it isn't utilized for one of the most beautiful & sexiest female alive on this earth!'              D A M N S T R A I G H T it hit me hard, REAL HARD! 
I was smitten by her, of course not on the first sight but eventually. Her beauty and her sex appeal are so strong that it took me many days to realize and recognize the absolute female in her. I remember the first day i met her in the office, this guy senior than me, introduce her to me by saying "here's the most beautiful & the Dream Girl in this office" though his phrasing wasn't correct, i really didn't pay attention to his wrong phrasing nor to her. It was then and now I’m writing for her!
Days passed and it just happened that we started to talk like we were friends since years and stuff like that. Going' on breaks together, sometimes she accompanied me downstairs for a smoke. And in that course every time we spent time together, the directorial functionality in me started slow motioning her and running her backward and forward for my visual pleasure. I do it often. Im writing this Blog, with the one and only purpose so as to impress her. It is intended by me as a love letter to her. She doesn't even know this that sometimes i just stare her and couldn’t take my eyes off her charm, her beauty her personality and her demeanor which is a new discovery for me.
I have had a crush on her right from the time I discovered the real 'her'. She'll always fascinate me.
 *DEAR READER :This is something beyond your weird & limited imagination of getting into relationships & proposing stuff. Its just i wanted to share how beautifully she ignites my thought process when i think of her & her beauty.
For lotta bums around in our office (and I’m sure about the guys around her outside the office) she's just a beauty personified, I could kill 'em just upon the very knowledge of the stretch of their weird imaginations about her. Agreed to the fact that this office lacks interesting faces & figures, but there really is something truly amazingly electrifying about YoYo. It’s not that there are no other females around. There are few, but YoYo is YoYo!
I could write books when it comes to terrific women and my experiences with'em. GOD I’m gifted, i could cherish those moments till my last breathe and even after that. Well this one dwelled in the deepest part of my heart, i figured out all these days that she's quite enthusiastic about Body Tattoos and already had one on her ‘flexor carpi ulnaris’ - muscle of her right forearm that acts to flex and adduct the hand (The only reason I’m exaggerating it is the pain i myself feel bad for she must've bore). And recently she got a tattoo made on her left wrist, below the palm..
 

Its in Punjabi language, meaning ਵਾਹਿਗੁਰੂ, ‘Vāhigurū’ is a term most often used in Sikhism to refer to God, the Supreme Being or the creator of all.
What's so special about it was that she claims i was amongst those few people whom she sent the pic of that tattoo instantly after made.. When she said this to me, everything around me came to a halt, cold still! For a moment i was on the seventh sky. She is one of the most beautiful and the sexiest female God ever created and I think he doesn't create such exquisite pieces of art like her too often. And why the hell does she cares to show me the picture of her tattoo and asking me how does it look? I replied to her after three days. That was stupid of me.
Well YoYo, who the men of the entire office desired was suddenly left all alone in the world, few months ago till Jango stepped in to fill the vacuum.  Jango is a pseudonym i prefer to cite him.
So what if Jango has the real YoYo…? …. I have her captured as a terrific picture in the sanctum of my mind camera and as a divine angel in the heart of my celluloid dreams.

The next when I will pay respect to my God, it will be for creating YoYo.
                                                                                            
                                                                                           Love You Sweetheart,
                                              “ Keep YoYo-ing! “